out of nothing

mistura de palavras

com três pontos em intervalo

                cinco segundos a pensar

                três minutos a escrever

                dez horas a remoer

uma vida a sentir

duas vidas

três vidas

números infinitos

em graus negativos

sonhando em marcha atrás

alucinando incapaz

comendo com os olhos, aos molhos,

a confusão, ao caos

na desordem de movimentos

presa, presa em medos

sozinha atrapalhada

niilista descomplexada

um ar a queimar

um ser a derreter

um ir a fugir

                puntzkapuntz

correndo ainda a tempo

de ir contra o tempo

                pensando imaginando

sendo sonhando

sankhu, january 2068

i’m not here

it’s not me

it’s this it’s again

it’s something else

    taking over

    taking control

dominating

it’s the excuse

to not be

    not think

    not feel

    not be

it’s the escape

running running away

    from what it’s not part of the it’s

it’s the it’s

    but not me

it’s too much of me

insecure and lost soul

it’s pretending

    bending in anxiety

    giving up the fight

    not even starting it

it’s a lot

    so it becomes nothing, the whole issue of nothing.

it damages the present

it erases what it’s now

it’s lost words trying to escape the escape

    going around, around

    where it has been before

    knowing there’s no happy ending

    but pretending and faking one

it’s to much of me

lost somewhere, everywhere i go

    everywhere i am.

it’s escaping to darkness, hoping to find light

    knowing…

        again…

            knowing there’s no any

it’s just so i don’t feel

    just so i don’t have to deal

it’s the pathetic knowing of all

the before and the after

    but still going, still hiding

still not here.

not even knowing where here is,

    not even trying, not even wanting to try

it’s again and again… and again

    it’s not knowing…

        the fear of not knowing

            the not acceptance of not knowing

asking for answers,

    not knowing the questions

it’s paralysing.